I went on a date on Friday night. Yes, you read that right. I actually had some drinks in the company of a man! I got my New Look five inchers out of retirement and dashed home from work after staff trampolining ( yes I know it's a bizarre concept, more on that later) them showered, changed, and got on the bus for the long journey into town.
I shouldn't have bothered. That sounds really harsh – he was a perfectly nice guy. That says it all really doesn't it... nice guy. I was quite bored and couldn't wait to go home and get into bed. Unfortunately I had to wait for the 11.25 home and so was stuck making polite conversation with a man who might as well have been from another planet. He is a detective (the one mentioned previously) and nice, intelligent, moderately good looking and considerate. But somehow, the chemistry wasn't there. I kept having to make inane comments to keep the conversation going and there were lots of long, uncomfortable silences where we stared at each other with absolutely bugger all to say. I think at one point there was even a conversation about the difficulty of parking in town and the pros and cons of the multi storey car park (Pay and Display or Ringo? Discuss) Yawn. I'm not being mean – I participated just as enthusiastically in the conversation as he did – but just because I was desperate for something... anything... to say. It was partly my fault though. My head wasn't there. I couldn't stop thinking about a certain someone who I've managed to forget about recently, namely Hot FB Guy.
He was at the aforementioned staff trampolining and I have to say, his skills were IM...PRESS... IVE. He was pretty damn bouncy. Unfortunately, mine leave much to be desired. (Read non-existent) Was not looking my best, had just rushed from bus duty and had very little make up on (eek) a huge spot developing on my cheek and a pair of tracksuit bottoms that had seen better days and were a little too short.... OK, I admit it, ankle swingers would be a better description. He told me a looked like a little pixie bouncing up and down on the trampoline (might have been down to the squealing noises I was making whenever I bounced too high). And I fell for him all over again. Godammit!
Whilst on the date with the detective, I kept thinking about the banter that I had with Hot FB Guy and the way that I crave his company even though we haven't spoken properly four four months. With the detective, it took him at least 10 seconds to get each of my jokes. If that's who's responsible for cracking crime in the area then God help us....
In comparison, Hot FB Guy gets me every time. To be honest, it could have been Brad Pitt (when he was hot, before the beard) sitting opposite me on that date and I wouldn't have been interested. I think I mean that as well...I must really like this guy.
However, he's probably got a girlfriend by now. It's been six months since we met and started the whole flirtation thing. I've got a feeling that I'm going to get screwed over again. Just because we've made polite conversation a few times.....When he waves at me across the car park at work I get unbelievably excited and start reading all kinds of things into it. J and I conduct whispered conversations in my office every lunchtime and the conversation pretty much revolves around 1. Where I've seen him that day and 2. If he spoke to me. It usually goes like this:
Me: ...and then, he asked if I'd finished on the photocopier and as he took his copies out he looked at me, no really looked at me like he was going to say something...!
J: Hmmm......I saw him in the canteen this morning... etc
Not that I'm a sad stalker or anything, you understand.
I'm well aware that reading about me banging on about fancying a guy at work is pretty boring. Therefore, I'm going to get back to the main topic of this post, which is about finding someone you actually get on with and who 'gets' you. It's so hard and finding someone who you fancy and get on with is, in my opinion, nigh on impossible.
To illustrate my point, I'll tell you a story that J told me about a guy she went on a date with last week. He mentioned how he loves travelling. She then proceeded to wax lyrical about how she loves going to the airport, buying a stack of trashy magazines and watching the in flight movie on the plane. He stared at her with a disgusted look on his face before saying “Actually I meant travelling to new places and experiencing new cultures.” Whoops. Good job she didn't enlighten him about the all inclusive beer fest we went on in Turkey last year....he probably would have walked out. Strangely enough, they never saw each other again.
I've even found an unlikely confidante in another man with whom I have ace banter. Used to be Toxic Ex. We had a long phone conversation last night about why it's so hard to meet someone who you actually get on with. He told me that he's given up on dating. I told him about my date on Friday night. We laughed and I wondered why the only men I have good conversation with are totally unsuitable ie emotionally unavailable fuck ups or people who I've already been out with ten years ago.
So. In conclusion, I need a bloke with a GSOH. And one who I fancy. Right. That's easy. Actually, the frustrating thing is that I've already found someone. Someone who, unfortunately, is really not interested in me. Someone who is very good on a trampoline.
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