So I've finally found the time to sit and write a post. Sorry that I didn't do it before. Time goes by so quickly here – yesterday I realised that I've been here a month.
So far, living here in Bucharest is as awesome as I thought. I've finally got the life I wanted, the life I dreamed about when I was back in ....shire, lying on the sofa reading Star magazine. I'm out pretty much every night, having drinks or dinner or swimming at the posh gym my work pays for. My quality of life is immeasurably better than it was in England. The city is huge, bustling and cosmopolitan and I live right in the centre. It makes a huge change to the sleepy market town where I was living before. It makes my life before look totally boring and routine.
Everything is all shiny and new - new friends, new job, new house. A new language, a new culture, and so many possibilities. One thing that isn't new, however is my relationship with Hot FB Guy. Yes. Unfortunately it's still going strong. I use the term 'relationship' loosely though. I know that Skyping does not a relationship make. I know that I'm heading for disaster.
You know all that stuff I wrote back in July about safe-guarding myself against him and not being open to getting hurt because I was moving to a different country? Not true. I've found that you can still be in love with someone even when they're a couple of thousand miles away. Oh God, I'm pathetic. I sound like something out of an old film, the kind they play on TCM (which I have been watching avidly since moving here, by the way, but with Romanian subtitles). I feel like there should be violin music in the background as I stand on my balcony and look down over central Bucharest and think about him. Godammit.
Last week I had a kind of mini crisis which involved me sitting in bed alone at half past ten on a Wednesday night staring dementedly and determinedly at the wall and giving myself a right talking-to. Out loud. The lecture went like this:
Now come on Siani. This is ridiculous. You're in Bucharest. You're having the time of your life (I am). So why are you still thinking about him? He's just a boy and a very unpredictable, emotional one at that. He's in another country and you like him way more that he likes you. Sort it out. Get him out of your mind. Find a nice Romanian man called Vlad or Gheorghe orAlexandru etc etc.
I had a bit of a nervous breakdown and called J crying. She told me to man up (in a nice way) that he wasn't right for me and that I needed to get over him. Oh, and that he's still in love with his ex, apparently. I know that. Of course I do.
Last night, he Skyped me. For three hours. Now, I know what you're thinking but it wasn't that kind of Skype session. We were talking. About everything. I spent most of the three hours laughing but there were some moments when we were quiet and contemplative - just looking at each other. It was weird. You could almost hear the chemistry between us whooshing down the wires. The mood was broken, however, when he asked to see my boobs. Who said romance was dead?
He wants to come out for a visit. In my head I know that it's not a good idea. But I can't say no. We talked about some dates and it's probable that he will come here in about a month's time. I'm already playing out the fantasy in my head...us walking round the city, kicking autumn leaves, sightseeing, having romantic dinners. By that time I will obviously be fluent in Romanian and a stone lighter and everything will occur in black and white with the aforementioned violin music in the background. And then he'll miraculously fall in love with me. Yep. Right.
So what am I going to do about the situation? Well, what can I do? I'm probably going to carry on as before, sporadically having contact with him and obsessing about him in between. I just can't believe that I've changed my life so drastically but that he's still there. He's always there, hovering, making it impossible for me to forget him. Somehow he has the knack of keeping me hooked, for opening me up and making me tell him things that I haven't told anyone, ever. It's like he looks straight at me and when he does it cuts through everything else.
Blah blah blah....If you've made it to the end of this post, well done! To be honest, I'm even boring myself now. I'm sorry if you were expecting a gossip-filled missive about all the dates I've been on since moving here. Tell you what, next time I'm going to write about the hot Romanian man I've met. And I'll include some juicy details. I promise.
