RSPCW

No word from the Moroccan. Obviously. Yes, I know, I should have seen that one coming. I really can't believe that he came on so strong but then just abruptly stopped calling. I would never do that. I phoned him over a week ago and since then... nothing. Well, I'm not chasing him. Next!

I spoke to J about it and we chatted about how stupid men are. I mean, why bother with all the chat about how much he liked me if he didn't mean it? Now, I've previously refrained from saying what I'm about to say so bluntly because I'm aware that there's nothing more boring than women whining about how rubbish men are. BUT THEY ARE, AREN'T THEY?

In the last couple of weeks, I've had a short fling with a guy who went from almost declaring love to me to just not calling, tried to console F as her boyfriend behaves like the biggest prick in the universe, and spent a good couple of hours counselling J about her break-up with a guy who, to be honest, led her a merry dance for over three months.

Whilst watching the recent rioting on TV, I started thinking about how angry I am. Yes I'm angry about social inequality. And by that I mean the way that my friends and I have been treated unjustly....by men. In fact, I'd like to form my own vigilante squad, an all female SWAT team of sorts. We could be called 'The Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Women'. We'd wear pink masks and carry huge baseball bats and garden shears. And we'd drive around in a hot pink transit van dispensing justice to all those stupid men who aren't treating their wives and girlfriends properly. This treatment would involve a non-stop forty eight hour session of 'Sex and the City', an interrogation involving thumbscrews where they would be forced to confess to all their wrongdoing, and a series of interviews with every single one of their ex-girlfriends so they could see the error of their ways. Ha. Only once they'd made a full confession and signed a contract saying they promised to behave better in future, would we release them back into society. We'd dump them, confused and with the 'Sex and the City' theme tune ringing in their ears, branded across the arse with our logo and wearing a pick tutu on the doorstep of … their local! This public shaming would act as a deterrent to all their friends. Breaking the aforementioned behaviour contract once it was signed would result in instant death. Public hanging in fact. By the balls.

Seriously though, where are all the good ones?

There is that not-so-hilarious joke that goes:

Q:What do men and parking spaces have in common?

A: The good ones are all taken and the rest are disabled.

(Or gay)

(or confused/scared of commitment/ lacking in balls)

So many of my friends are afraid that they're going to wake up one day and realise that it's too late for them to have children. That their time has been wasted by a procession of stupid men. I'm pleased to say that so far I've not felt that panic. I'm sure that day will come though when I start thinking that I need to freeze my eggs or find any random man on the street to impregnate me or something. But for now, I'm just watching in disbelief at the stupid things that men get up to.

Is it my fault that I keep having such crappy experiences with men? And that just I'm choosing the wrong ones? Hmm....Come to think of it I have picked some idiots recently. Looking back over the men I've had dealings with this year there is:

The Turkish Jewellery Shop Owner,

Hot FB Guy,

Used to be Toxic Ex,

The Nineteen Year Old,

Hot FB Guy (again)

The Hot Islander,

Hot FB Guy (yet again)

The Moroccan Surfer.

It's not the best list in the world, is it? To be honest, it reads more like the 'Who's Who' of  'Unsuitable Men to Go Out With'. The overseas edition.

Well, as I'm moving to Bucharest next week and hoping to make a fresh start, maybe my New (Academic) Year's Resolution should be 'Hold out for Mr Right without getting distracted'. And buy a really big baseball bat.